Adverse experiences at any age can manifest a multitude of undesirable consequences, causing distress and disturbance in our lives. Symptoms can often resemble other clinically significant conditions such as depressive, anxiety, or dissociative disorders. Self-medicating attempts can further cloud the diagnosis, thus a formal assessment is critical in establishing proper follow-up recommendations and defining the course of treatment. Trauma therapy is by no means a pink-and-peachy process, in fact it can initially exacerbate your symptoms - picture you have been putting bandaids on a weeping wound on your knee, you know that in order to allow the wound to heal, you will have to rip the bandaid off and thoroughly clean the wound, which often stings and hurts, but the wound can then heal - you will be whole, there will be a scar (since we can’t erase your memory with a magic wand), but it will not longer weep.
A set of maladaptive behavioral patterns - usually serving as coping mechanisms through adverse experiences and later revealing themselves in interpersonal relationships causing dysfunction and toxicity through fear-based mistrust, avoidance, need for control (which can present itself as attempts at manipulating in various c/overt ways), low self-esteem, etc. Codependency is often mistaken for a personality disorder due to its deep-seated nature. Treatment may consist of careful examination of past and current habits, embracing their impact, learning to interrupt cycles and implementing healthy boundaries. The goal of treatment is not to foster independence, as ‘no man is an island,’ but rather interdependence. Furthermore, personal growth through this process can be a rewarding discovery/recovery of your most authentic self, aligned with your true core values, and ultimately allow focusing on a meaningful purpose.
Depression should not be mistaken for sadness or grief and it is worth noting that some depressive symptoms can be the result of entirely different conditions, which should be ruled out. It is a stagnant state and can be characterized by a mix of low mood, lack of energy/interest/motivation, hopelessness/helplessness, sleep disturbance, altered appetite. Some describe depression as a kind of numbness and inability to concentrate. Depressive disorders can be a spectrum - from dysthymia to, in more serious cases, producing suicidal ideation or thoughts of self-harm. Regardless of how it ensues, once settled in, depression tends to permeate all aspects of our lives and treatment, therefore, has to also target our emotional, physical, social, environmental, and spiritual health, all at the same time. It is not a small undertaking and change certainly doesn’t happen overnight, as it takes time for our organism to get into balance.
Crossing formative thresholds and/or withstanding major life events can be arduous and anxiety-inducing, sometimes jolting or crippling, leaving us feeling lost/confused, without purpose, or grieving. Transitions can and should alter our perceptions of ourselves and our worldview, as neither us nor the world remain stagnant for long. Nonetheless, adjusting to change requires us to step out of our comfort zones and events outside of our control ensure we can no longer remain passive or in denial, like a seaweed carried by the current, and instead force us to take charge. This can lead to resentments, frustration, and anger. Beginning to even conceptualize restructuring our routines and lifestyles may even be downright gut-wrenching. It is difficult to trust the process, when you feel like you are spinning in a fog. Recovery may involve creating or reviving rituals, customs, traditions, learning to honor ourselves and that, which is valuable to us in a way that makes sense to us (sometimes having to cast away societal and family expectations). Transitions, however painful, are an opportunity for growth and new meaning-making.
Many compulsions can be construed as addictions - substance use, gambling, porn, hoarding, overeating, excessive cleaning, social media, and others. All may negatively impact the brain’s reward center, leading to increased performance of the behavior, despite adverse consequences (i.e. health problems, legal issues, damaged relationships, neglected responsibilities, financial difficulties). A number of clues may expose the behavior as problematic - tolerance or desensitization, cravings, withdrawal, unsuccessful repeated attempts to quit or control the behavior, etc. Reducing harm takes precedence when handling addiction, ensuring your safety is a priority first and foremost. Whether you choose to practice abstinence or not, understanding any underlying factors that may be contributing to the addiction and developing healthy coping tools is imperative. Addiction is often accompanied by other co-occurring conditions - trying to figure out which came first can be a bit of a ‘chicken or the egg’ conundrum, but addressing both is a prerogative.
“For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
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